FUNERAL MASS - October 5th 2009
WENDELL CHARLES HOSPEDALES
EULOGY
“In battle, in the forest, at the precipice in the mountains, On the dark great sea, in the midst of javelins and arrows, In sleep, in confusion, in the depths of shame, The good deeds a man has done before defend him”
– Bhagavad Gita
Today I am here to invite you to celebrate the life of my Uncle Wendell, a life which was lived to the fullest, in the sense that he was the personification of the characteristics that we are called to develop as we journey through life. Uncle Wendell lived the ordinances that we are encouraged to live by, he lived as the biblical virtuous man. Full of goodness and wisdom…living a decision to love in spite of relationship or longevity of passage. Uncle Wendell had all the attributes of a good Christian man who had fought the good fight and ran his race to the finish.
Let me tell you a little about the man that I knew, with the insights and impressions of others.
Uncle Wendell was born on May 21st 1941 to Charles and Edwardina Hospedales and was the 5th of 9 children. I am told that, Uncle Wendell’s childhood days were filled with life in the San Juan river which supported a whole range of activities that kept Uncle Wendell and his siblings out of trouble …….well ……..maybe not Enrique….
For Uncle Wendell, life was filled with: catching lobster, cray fish, prawn, building pools and swimming in the river, bird watching and trapping and training pigeons to return home, along with some skilled kite making. He also enjoyed numerous trips to Maracas bay and those who knew him well would remember his great love for floating for long periods of time whenever he went to the beach. He spent many adventurous week on the North Coast with his brothers and sometimes with the Rollings boys, his lifelong friends. UW would organize and cook all the meals during these trips. He was organized and meticulous from as early as 8/9 years old.
During his teenage years he met Nancy DuChausee and his life became immediately linked to hers as he had eyes for no other. Uncle Wendell was the sharpest dresser with a keen sense of style he was always well turned out and very handsome to boot. They married in 1967 when he was 26 years old and she 23 and have had 42 years of marital harmony. See with Uncle Wendell every commitment was one to be perfected ….. Before I move on I should let you know that when Uncle Wendell and Aunty Nancy became joined, He became a DuChausee and She became a Hospedales. They both adopted each other’s family as their own. In fact, all the DuChausees are here today, flown in from all parts of North America, not only to support Aunty Nancy but because Uncle Wendell had become part of that family. Their love and support for Uncle Wendell was evident during the last months of his life as they would take turns to come to Trinidad to be stay with UW and AN and when those who were not here were always in touch through the kind support of Vonage.
Uncle Wendell went to work at the Port Authority at age 21 and retired after 33 1/3 years of committed service. He was then 54 years old. When Uncle Wendell did something he gave it 100% of his considerable talent and energy and he easily brought these qualities to the Port. From early in his employment he would work through weekends as there was much work to do and not enough time or persons to do it. He never complained about hard work. I never knew him to miss work or to shirk any form of responsibility. In fact he seemed to be a magnet for additional commitment.
In anticipation of his retirement at a relatively young age, he started his own business, Rolls Patisserie, with his soul mate Nancy getting up in the early hours of the morning to do the baking before heading off to her own job. As he left the Port, Uncle Wendell threw himself into this project in his normal committed way, never letting up. Even when the Patisserie was closed Uncle Wendell would have “Rolls” business to attend to. You see, by this time he had some employees, and he felt that the business must do well as his employees were depending on him for their livelihood. This was Uncle Wendell. I never really knew him to have selfish motives in the commitments he undertook.
Early in their advent into Trinidad, my Grandmother, UW’s mother, made a personal commitment to supply the Sisters of Charity with bread and Uncle Wendell accepted the Job to deliver Mama’s offering to the Sisters every week. This commitment continues even today, perhaps twenty something years later, although my grandmother died in 2001. This effort is now shared by AN, Nick and Horacio.
I could go on and on because Uncle Wendell was the kind of man who quietly undertook a lot without seeming to. He was an ordinary man doing extraordinary things. He did things that others would neither do, nor agree to. He was committed to everyone and everything that he did, or in which he became involved. We are who we are now because of the example that he, and others set for us.
When I was seven years old my parents divorced and my father took on the task of parenting 6 young children on his own. I do not remember a day going by when Uncle Wendell and Aunty Nancy did not pass in to check on us. They always took an interest in what was happening in our lives and became active in many ways. Uncle Wendell took me to all my school bazaars and would be promptly there to meet me at 6 o’clock sharp……of course …before the Disco started!!!!
Uncle Wendell was a very serious person who took life’s obligations very seriously and would always remind my siblings and me about our obligations. He meant for us to turn into good productive citizens and never stopped reminding us, this entailed some long lectures, especially for Roseanna who was the eldest and who was constantly reminded of the example she must set for us, her younger siblings. She however, understood, that this came from love, and that he only wanted what was best for us. I think even though we were young we all understood his intentions. Uncle Wendell would have been in his late twenties, a young age by today’s standards. Yet he had the wisdom and generosity to draw his young bride Nancy into assisting in parenting 5 nieces and a nephew for whom he clearly felt some sense of responsibility. Uncle Wendell set the best example of conduct for us and I think he felt personally pained when we failed as though he hadn’t done enough, and therefore he was responsible for our failure. Such was the measure of the man.
Later, UW started his own family and produced some fine younger cousins in Horacio, Nicolas and Marianna. He had cut his teeth on my family, so I am told the lectures and the call to the highest standards remained embedded in his approach. He instilled in my cousins that: self sacrifice and commitment to others is paramount. Never say you will do something and not do it. You can be or do anything. Apart from my own Grandmother, UW was the most empowering person on the planet. He had a way that he always made you feel important as though you were doing significant things. He never had a bigger story to tell than yours and he always made me feel as though I was great. He made you believe that that you could do whatever you set your mind to. He sought to encourage with good advice and no judgment. He was tireless in his effort to serve others and he took this into parenting his own children. As I look upon my cousins today I can identify some of his most excellent traits in each of them. To them I say, you have large shoes to fill and must recognize your own responsibility to fill them.
Every significant occasion of my life has been marked by Uncle Wendell’s presence, he walked me down the Aisle when I got married, and was present when I had my own children, Ants and Quinnie, as he affectionately called them. When my husband and I purchased our home, he was among the first to identify the need to give the home a good cleaning and came armed with solvents and equipment for the job. He was always there with us, lending his considerable expertise in home-improvement matters. He was a real do-it-yourself man. Relentlessly perfectionist in his desire to get everything he did as close as he could to perfect and to assist others to do the same.
But lest you get the impression that I was different in some way and therefore was singled out for special attention by Uncle Wendell, I would wish to dispel this impression immediately. Uncle Wendell was helpful and sensitive to the needs of others. No one was left out in his “do-good-for-others” drive, you did not have to ask Uncle for help he was always around….if he identified a need he would offer his knowledge and assistance. He was a person of commitment, discipline and principle. He would never commit to do something and disappoint. Ask Uncle Jerry about securing the spot, mowing the grass and pitching the Carnival tent. He took very seriously any commitment he had made and you could set your clock by him, because he was always on time or early. So much for some extra minutes at the school bazaar.
Uncle Wendell was a gentle …man, literally!!!
He was a good counsel to all who sought his wisdom. To his friends and to strangers, he was a very kind person and was always ready to help. He took people as they were. He may have disagreed with your stand on a subject, but he always respected that you had the right to have an opinion different from his. He NEVER held against you for any differences you may have had. He loved unconditionally. He never gave up on people. He always had a solution to every problem and had his ways of making things simple. He never asked anybody for help but he was a very generous man, and he never wanted to be acknowledged for anything he did. When he helped he simply helped. The personification of disinterested love. I AM PROUD TO CALL HIM UNCLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (pause…………………………….)
Uncle Wendell lived life without fanfare and gently exited this life, as he lived. The word of God says that on judgment day the books of life will be opened and read by almighty God and we shall all account for the good works we did here in this life. When UW’s book is opened God Almighty will have a whole lot of reading to do. This was a life given to service of others that left no room for selfish pursuits. He just didn’t have the time.
There is no doubt in my mind that he lived a life worthy of imitation. The life of a Saint. A legacy for us to follow. May you rest in peace my dearest uncle.
Celia C. Lougheide
October 5th, 2009
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