Health Alert: DNN reports Big Losers within the family!

A shocking syndrome affecting millions in the western world has been reported among members of the Duchausee family.This phenomenon is called Long Lasting Weightloss (also known as LLW) and its symptoms include a loss of fat from the body, dramatically increased levels of self esteem and delusions of happiness. There have been at least three reported cases within the Duchaussee family

Sandra T (last names have been withheld) was one of the first in the family struck by the condition.
“It was a gradual process I just remember being unhappy with the way my clothes looked and fit. It was crazy because I had never felt that way before. At first the symptoms of the disease were subtle. “I found myself avoiding some foods that struck me as overly greasy or too salty. Gradually I started avoiding more and more foods until I had finally cut out almost anything fried and oily and was only eating fresh fruits and vegetables, small amounts of lean meats and very small amounts of breads and whole grains.”
Helpful nutrition experts working from the grocery stores were baffled. They made heartfelt appeals to get her to return to her pre LLW way of eating including sending coupons and putting certain products on sale, but with no success. The affliction is too deep and most disturbingly the 40 something year old seems delightfully happy. She is actually unwilling to rid herself of the shocking condition. “I know it’s weird for someone my age to be as thin and perhaps thinner than they were 25 years ago” she says peeling a banana “but I don’t want to change. I love carnival costumes and I love putting new holes in my belt. I guess I’m addicted!”

Worse still, it is believed that Sandra T* may have passed LLW on to a family member living in the same city. Karen C* recalls acquiring the condition soon after Sandra. “I started having feelings of always being the biggest one at a party or gathering. And I was even more distressed when no one disagreed with me if I made fat jokes about myself. I’m pretty sure by then I had caught LLW. It hit so hard that no one could help me” The first symptoms were revealed on the social networking site Facebook where she published a status update that read “I will lose 20 pounds by the end of this year”. Though slightly strange it didn’t attract much notice until 9 months later when she appeared in photos wearing elegant shape revealing clothes and having people mistake her son for her little brother. One year later still suffering from the effects of LLW she finds herself walking on her lunch hour with a bag of grapes instead of eating fast food with co-workers. Disoriented and desperate for help she checks in at the gym every night for one hour. Dinner is always a salad. Despite her attempts she isn’t hopeful for a cure. She shakes her head vehemently at the question as if to banish the thought “No. I won’t go back to the way I was before. I’ll never stop being this weight.”

Far away in the southern United states Garnet D* reports LLW had struck before as a young man. However it had left him after his happy marriage and just when he thought he was free of the the condition for good, a sudden relapse two months ago left him minus 25 pounds of fat and down four pant sizes. Contrary to popular notions of the disease, he did not contract it by banishing all of his favourite foods. For Garnet it was making different choices at fast food restaurants, adding lean protein to his diet and two hours running and lifting weights at the gym every day that lead the disease to have its way with him. Despite these changes the 32 year-old does not accept responsibility for having contracted LLW. Instead he points the finger at a 10 month old baby and a 75 year old man. In his article “Hump Busting at the Gym and Eating Healthy” he rages “What makes me keep going back is my daughter. I do not want her to go through what I went through with the loss of a parent. I want to make sure I'm healthy so I can see her all grown up.” and “My dad living close to me, I supply the healthy food and he cooks it." Both father and daughter were unavailable for comment.

Although the government and the food industry have made their best efforts to protect the DuChausees, there are just too many environmental and genetic factors to save the entire clan from being afflicted. It seems the family's only hope is to educate one another on the many ways LLW can strike. The spread of information could be the only way of understanding and controlling this life changing condition